No Such Thing by Gemma Flack
Part of a new project I’m working on and refining! Really excited about this, kind of inspired by that Great Lakes Singers song. Stay tuned, I’m takin’ my art on the road with me this year!
Sometimes I forget how awesome my life is… and then I look at the pictures.
Dear 2011,
What. A. Year. You were full of face melting awesomeness, some really big lessons learned and challenges overcome, and people that I love.
Thanks for it all.
Dear 2012,
Bring it!
Love-Raine
Chic is, first, when you don’t have to prove you have money, either becuase you have a lot and it doesn’t matter or because you don’t have any and it doesn’t matter. It is not aspirational. Chic is the most impossible thing to define. Luxury is a humorless thing, largely … Chic is all about humor. Which means chic is about intelligence. And there has to be oddness - most luxury is conformist, and chic cannot be. Chic must be polite and not incommode others, but within that it can be as weird as it wants.
– Luca Turin, The Emperor of Scent
“The More You Give The More There Is To Give.”
I was having a catch up with my friend Benny after a couple of weeks of playing phone tag. He was telling me about his recent trip to LA to visit a girl that he really digs. Absolutely nothing went right. His van broke down several times on the way there and what was meant to be a week of car camping through Big Sur with his crush turned into a week of Benny sleeping on said girls sisters couch. Alone. Benny and his lady still managed to have some good times together around LA and some even more important conversations. Benny found out that his lady was on a strict 5 year plan that left no room for attachment or relationships of any sort. She has her mind set on seeing the world and doesn’t want that kind of thing to get in the way of it. Now, my friend wasn’t exactly thrilled to hear this news, he had been enamored with Kate from the moment they met and had been looking forward to seeing where things might go with her all summer. Bummer city.
Anyhow, on Benny’s long drive from LA back to Utah where he is living for the winter he starts asking himself some questions. “Why do I do this? Why is this happening again?” the way that many of us would. My darling friend couldn’t come up with an adequate answer for himself so unable to assemble an appropriate response he decides that maybe he is asking the wrong questions. “Why do I do this?” changes to “Why wouldn’t I do this?” Love has turned into such a complicated thing that really should be simple. Benny starts thinking about all of the things that he loves and how come the only love in his life that is complicated is the one that comes from people? It’s because when we love people, we expect something back. We’ve been taught that life is about getting as many people to love us as possible, or just one or two to love us deeply. What if we flipped that around and made life about loving as many people as possible instead? This isn’t an entirely altruistic philosophy of course (is anything?) by giving so much love it makes us feel better ourselves, our outlook is brighter, and maybe in the grand scheme all this lovin will come back to us. But even if it doesn’t I think that would be a life more worth living than one that makes us afraid to love because of these feelings that can come with rejection. Let’s just eliminate that. The example that Benny gave that is so idealistic but made so much sense is this,
“If I can watch a sunset and love that and not feel the need to capture it to validate it, why shouldn’t I be able to love people like that?”
Of course people are more complicated than sunsets but you get what he’s sayin. Oh. Man. I held back the tears of gratitude I felt for my dear friend on the phone because over the last few months I’ve allowed myself to clam up. I had an experience or two that led me to think that loving like that could only end in hurt, and even worse, that not everybody deserved my love. But the truth is, it’s not a matter of deserving because we shouldn’t be loving just to get things (more love) in return. I feel like this is a lesson that I can apply even just to loving myself. I’m here and I’m not perfect but as a person capable of loving others through their faults I should be able to love myself too no matter what state I am in. Of course love like this goes against our natural instincts and maybe it is incredibly idealistic, but man… isn’t it a great idea?
And So It Sets In.
I’m relaxed, I’m caught up, and I’m ready. To get moving again that is. I’ve been focusing consciously on enjoying the time that I have down and appreciating my family and Colorado and it’s worked, I’ve loved it. I can, however, with certainty say that I made the right decision in not forcing a settle down and allowing myself to ramble for a while, if not forever, longer.
The next adventure is still uncertain but I’m hoping it involves a sailboat, my friend Amanda, and some long and quiet days at sea. I feel like I’m familiar enough with the land now, it’s time to move on to the ocean so I may really move freely where ever I please. If not the ocean… South America has been calling for some time too.
Now for something completely different… I’m reading a book. That’s right, I have time to read. I picked up A Short History of Nearly Everything by Bill Bryson after I read his book A Walk in the Woods while I was doing some day hikes on the AT last year. His has an easy to read style of writing and his humor as well as curiosity as a person come through his text. A Short History is just what it sounds like it talks about, in terms that even I understand, outer space, Einstein, the ice age… has been a really good an informative read. If you’re looking for something pick it up! Also currently re-reading, for probably the fifth time, The Life of Pi by Yan Martell. Pi is a story about religion and the ocean and zoo animals. Awesome, right?
